GM owner UAW negtiated $5k signing bonuses WITH ITSELF, will impose same on Ford

The pattern for as long as I can remember here in the Detroit area is that the UAW negotiates a contract with one of the big-3, and then imposes that contract on the other two. The difference this go around is that the UAW owns GM. In that regard, they've 'negotiated' a contract with themselves, including $5,000 'signing bonuses' to the rank and file at taxpayer expense (I'll get to that part in a moment), and I'm sure will proceed to simply copy that onto their competitor Ford. From the AP: GM, UAW agree on profit-sharing in new contract

The United Auto Workers union won $5,000 signing bonuses and the possibility of sweeter profit-sharing checks as part of a new four-year contract with General Motors Co., two people briefed on the talks said Saturday.

The deal, which was reached late Friday, also includes a $2- to $3-per-hour pay raise for entry-level workers over the life of the contract and guarantees more union jobs, the people said.

The other side of this turd sandwich is that 100% of GM profit are really US taxpayer bailout dollars. GM makes no real profit. It only looks that way on paper because of an Obama mind trick. There's in fact a backdoor bailout that the media continues to refuse to cover: Government Motors, Dems, Obama celebrate first quarter profits made up entirely of backdoor taxpayer bailout that the press still refuses to report. I'll summarize the backdoor bailout in two prior posts:

• Bailout: GM only earned a 'profit' on paper because of $45 billion backdoor taxpayer bailout that the establishment MSM isn't reporting
• Detroit News spews Obama propaganda: Feds to recoup $36 billion in bailout money, fail to mention GM receiving $45 billion tax furlough

That's right - neither Chrysler nor GM pay taxes. They are exempt for several years costing taxpayers at least $42 billion. That was a decision Obama made (the regime gave any 'private' company a tax exemption if they drank the kool-aid and took TARP money). Forget that Obama doesn't even have the power to do so:Shocker: Obama had no authority to waive GM taxes, did it anyway via executive fiat. Ford gets no such privileged treatment, pays its taxes and still has to compete on the open market with both. For someone who gives lip service to "leveling the playing field" Obama tilted it severely for political points. And with the non-curious, lazy media at his back, he gets headlines like the above and it's based on news that is misleading at best, and outright false at worse. Including the tax breaks, how much will the total loss be to US taxpayers? This much: Government to LOSE $85 Billion on Government Motors, Obama calls it a success...  The original bailout was $80 billion. Put up $80 billion, end up losing $85 billion. Only in the world of the federal government is that called a success. And now after siphoning tens of billions of taxpayer dollars, the UAW is giving itself a signing bonus that is into the hundreds of millions, again 100% at taxpayer expense.

If the US Justice Department were worth its salt (its not), they would file racketeering charges against the UAW for this absurdity of negotiating with itself to impose a contract onto Ford.

UPDATE: Via Instapundit:

MICKEY KAUS: Why Not Pay Back Taxpayers First? “I’m sure there are sophisticated arguments for why the UAW members shouldn’t pay back the taxpayers who bailed their employer out of bankruptcy before they negotiate a deal that gives them each a $5,000 bonus. I just can’t think of them right now. … Just from a PR standpoint, repaying the debt would seem like a good idea. . . . It’s one thing to give workers power to negotiate above-market wages through collective bargaining–hey, let them squeeze the bosses for all the bosses can bear. It’s another thing when they squeeze more than the bosses can bear, the bosses go broke, and ordinary citizens, many poorer than UAW members, have to make up the difference. After that, why let the UAW continue to extract Wagner Act wages as if nothing happened?”

The only point Kaus misses is that the workers and the bosses are one and the same in this case. They have literally negotiated with themselves more taxpayer loot!

UPDATE #2: Via The Detroit Free Press: UAW to release details of GM deal Tuesday; analyst calls pact partial victory for both sides. Both sides? The UAW sits on both! There are no two sides!!!